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If you’ve found yourself in an toxic or abusive relationship, which is not serving either of your highest good, it’s time to cut chords – physically and emotionally. If you didn’t get a chance to read my previous article on determining whether you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, you can read it here.

I am all for working it out after a fight, argument or disagreement and not running away as soon as things get a little tough, however there is a difference between normal relationship niggles and settling because you don’t believe you’re worth more (or because you believe he/she will change).

If you’ve found yourself in an toxic or abusive relationship, which is not serving either of your highest good, it’s time to cut chords - physically and emotionally. If you didn't get a chance to read my previous article on determining whether you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, you can read it here. I am all for working it out after a fight, argument or disagreement and not running away as soon as things get a little tough, however there is a difference between normal relationship niggles and settling because you don’t believe you're worth more (or because you believe he/she will change).


When we disconnect from our Yoni, or let's say our "Sacral Chakra", we disconnect from our life force. When we are in touch with our flow of sexual energy and creative energy (it's the same thing), we feel alive, vibrant and radiant. Even before I knew anything about Kundalini energy, I knew when someone was or wasn't in touch with their sexual energy. School teachers were the most obvious example! Often my teachers in school were elder, overweight, grumpy, divorced women who had a strong belief in Christ (and therefore likely a lot of shame around sexuality). I would often pray for them to get a good ol' fashioned 'shagging' as I felt this is what they needed. And I bet you it is what they needed, and still do!

Guest post by Ares Chaplin Anyone who classifies themselves as a 'sex geek', has ever watched porn, or who has a genuine interest in sex, is most probably familiar with the recent ‘explosion’ of female ejaculation or ‘squirting’ videos ‘flooding’ the internet. If you are like most people, including me, and you have ever seen one of these videos online, you probably thought the girls were just peeing and in some cases you may have been right. Not withstanding, the phenomenon of female ejaculation is indeed very real and I know this because; not only is there lots of very real and valid science behind it, I also have had personal experiences with it… as has my partner, and many of our amazing friends.

I met Susana Frioni back in 2013 when I was in a less-than-healthy space. At the time I was in an office job I resented, I was still binge drinking myself to an oblivion on the weekends as a coping mechanism, smoking cigarettes regularly to 'calm' myself, and in a secret relationship with a man who was completely...unavailable. I was unhappily single and lost, but still extremely determined to pull myself out of this mess. *Having experienced all this personally makes me such a damn good coach because I have been there, done that. And I GET IT.*

We all know that confidence is sexy; it’s alluring, appealing and attractive. When someone is confident they’re charismatic, comfortable in their own skin, and oozing radiance and spunk - it’s enviable!  Yadda, yadda, yadda. However, confidence is also extremely easy to fake! Confidence and self worth are often terms used interchangeably. Though what I have recognised is that there is a pretty big difference and one can be confident, but have little or no self worth.  I was faced with this realisation recently when a woman I respected pointed out that she could tell I had a lot of confidence but there were issues around my self worth that I had not admitted to or resolved.

I recently had a session with a client who was struggling letting go of her ex. Logically she was over him. In her mind, she knew he was no good for her, repeating to me 'he was a horrible boyfriend', 'I was virtually his mother', 'I stuck by him all those years and put up with his shit', 'What a waste of time and energy!'. Rationality told her he was a dick and to get over him! But she couldn't seem to get him out of her mind and felt she should be well and truly over it as it had been almost a year since the break up. Even though she broke up with him, she still kicked herself and thought in the back of her mind that they would eventually get back together again. That is until he got engaged soon after! Ouch... Some weeks she was strong and didn't think about him at all, then other weeks she would cave in and obsessionally stalk his Facebook page as well as his new fiance's; giving her a fix AND a kick in the guts. She knew she wasn't over it but had no idea what to do. A part of her felt her ego was bruised as she had been rejected. She also felt not good enough, thinking in her mind 'why didn't he choose me?'. She explained how his presence felt involuntary, like he had a hold on her. Almost like his energy was attached onto her field and she couldn't brush him off; a black cloud that wouldn't stop following her around. She was repeating the same worn out story in her mind over and over again - it was addictive. It was a familiar story to revert to. A woe-is-me story that filled the void. A story that she went back to often to try and piece the puzzle together - why it ended, how he met his new fiance, what she could have done differently - rehashing everything blow by blow that happened during their years together, especially the ending of the relationship. She also had zero closure, which was a huge part of the problem, as she couldn't move on. So I told her it's closure we're gonna get her, without even seeing him! Here are some tips I gave to my client from personal experience (please note that this example is from a females perspective, however is equally as powerful for the opposite sex!) Forgiveness Meditation Sit comfortably. Somewhere quiet without disturbance. Envisage yourself as your highest version of YOU. What you look like, what you sound like, what you are wearing, how you're sitting or standing, where you are (a white room always works for me or by a riverbank). Really get into character and imagine and visualise your divine higher being. Then call in your ex, bring him into your room or space. Imagine his highest divine being - the best version of him! What does he look like, smell like, sound like etc. He is right in front of you now. You're looking into each other's eyes. Then, shifting into your minds eye (third eye of higher consciousness) tell him everything you feel. Get everything off your chest. Express it how you feel is appropriate (maybe it's calm, maybe you yell and scream). I am usually quite calm during this process (I also usually cry here...) Show him where it hurts. Tell him how it made you feel. Take hold of his hand, or whatever feels right for you. Once you have released everything you want to say, then let him talk. The answers will come intuitively to you from your divine. Or maybe he doesn't talk at all. Whatever comes, will come naturally. He will say what he needs to say 'I'm sorry', 'Please forgive me' 'Please release me' 'I didn't know any better' - just let him speak from his highest self. Allow the forgiveness to enter. Forgiveness to him, and to yourself. Once this process has finished and you feel like it's time to say goodbye, give him a hug. Let him hug you. Embrace. Hold him. Stroke his neck. Then its time to let him go. Look down to your belly or torso and notice where the energetic chord attaching you to him is connected. After you are ready to say goodbye... get out a sword, scissors, a knife (whatever you want to break the chord with) and once he turns to walk away, cut the chord. Make a ceremony out of this. Watch him walk away / fade away / disappear. Then sit with the feeling of how it feels to let him go. Are you free? Are you lighter? Are you exhausted? Are you sad? Are you ecstatic? Are you emotional? Imagination is a powerful tool.

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