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shadow work

Sex can take up a huge chunk of our energy – 

 

The thought of sex, the fantasy, the desire, the lead up, the build up, the chase, the choosing (the swiping), the courting, the outfit, the lipstick, the gym work outs, the act of sex, the orgasm, the ejaculation, the ‘after-care’, the follow up, the safety, the vulnerability – the whole process can consume a lot of our time, energy and emotion.

…if we let it.

Sex can take up a huge chunk of our energy - 
  The thought of sex, the fantasy, the desire, the lead up, the build up, the chase, the choosing (the swiping), the courting, the outfit, the lipstick, the gym work outs, the act of sex, the orgasm, the ejaculation, the 'after-care', the follow up, the safety, the vulnerability - the whole process can consume a lot of our time, energy and emotion. ...if we let it.


Guest Post by Madison Rosenberger
I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school from age 5-18, there were a lot of “rules” I learned in Catholic school about sex that never seemed right to me. I never understood the regulations on sex and lovemaking. For example, why couldn’t we have sex before marriage?  The point of making love is to be intimate with one another, and I didn’t quite understand what marriage had to do with it. However there was one thing I learned in Catholic school that stuck with me, and not necessarily for the reason you might think...


Guest Post by Sonja Shrada Devi from WildSacredFeminine
I know when i was growing up I thought sexiness belonged to ‘the cool girls’, the girls with good looks and special ‘sexual skills’.  I felt awkward and totally disconnected from my body and sexual pleasure. Thankfully that’s all changed.  I have been on a profound journey to make friends with my body, I have gotten super intimate with my intimate terrain.  And I have embraced what I call ‘the new sexy’ as a full time job. 

Our shadow is any hidden, secret, repressed or denied part(s) of ourselves that we do not wish to own, claim, share or let anyone else know about. Because God forbid... "what will people think of me?". We want to keep it under wraps because it aint pretty. In fact it's really ugly! Our fear is that if people knew our deepest, darkest shadows, they would judge us, dislike us, attack us or worst still...abandon us, which is our deepest collective core wound.


Loving yourself isn't just about writing down affirmations on your mirror, meditating once a day or being your own best friend. There is so much more to 'self love' than this. First of all, let me clear something up. Self love and putting yourself #1 is not selfish. I repeat NOT selfish. In fact it's better for everyone in your life if you love yourself, since:   "You simply can't fill up someone else's cup if yours is empty."   I have also realised that self love stems from a total and utter self acceptance. Accepting ALL the pieces of you that you love...and don't necessarily love (yep, that's your muffin top, your jealous bitch side, your upper lip hairs, your wonky vagina etc.). Because when we surrender to our wholeness of light and dark, that's when we radiate love and fullness. We are whole. And besides, how much sexier is a woman who owns ALL of who she is? I love to offer my clients slightly unique, more 'open-minded' ways to connect with the love for ourself. Take what resonates and leave the rest. These are FOUNDATIONAL practices and a great place to start...


The way we are showing up sexually is a good indicator of what is going on deep within us.

"As in the bedroom, so in life".

They are not separate; in fact, they are VERY linked.

This is pertinent in my life at present as in the past week that I have not been prioritising my pleasure. In fact I have been putting off delicious love making sessions with my partner - saying something along the lines of: 'Oh maybe later, I just have a few things to do at the moment,' or 'After my cup of tea,' or 'Hmm, I have a head ache,' or 'I want to have a shower and wash my hair first,’ or ‘I’m just too tired right now’. 

The list goes on!! 


Recently I was sitting in a sister circle with about 25 women and we were sharing our experiences with sexuality.

A broad topic of conversation, yes, but deeply healing when discussed openly in a safe space with other conscious women. 

As we all opened up, became vulnerable and shared our experiences I realised one thing: the women all had a similar story around sexuality and their relationship with sex. 

And most stories were along the lines of one of these…

If you’ve found yourself in an toxic or abusive relationship, which is not serving either of your highest good, it’s time to cut chords - physically and emotionally. If you didn't get a chance to read my previous article on determining whether you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, you can read it here. I am all for working it out after a fight, argument or disagreement and not running away as soon as things get a little tough, however there is a difference between normal relationship niggles and settling because you don’t believe you're worth more (or because you believe he/she will change).

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