An Ode to Small Breasted Women
As a pre-pubescent 11 year old girl, I would stuff socks down my sister’s hand-me-down bras and hope to DEAR GOD I grew big, beautiful, luscious breasts!
I was SO excited to become a woman and grow pubic hair, boobs and hips!
Fast forward to the age of 16, and I realised I had to settle for a “handful”, no shapely Shakira hips, and by that stage I wanted to wax all my pubic hair off! Go figure.
I was certain I was going to get breast implants as soon as I turned 18! “Then I will be beautiful”, I would often think to myself.
I just wanted to feel like a woman and look like all the women in the magazines.
“I had the belief system that large, full breasts were a sign of sexiness, fertility and femininity.”
And the reality is, they are a sign of sexiness, fertility and femininity.
But so are small breasts!
They’re just not as glorified in our lingerie advertisements, swimwear photoshoots, Instagram feeds, and not to mention the pornographic industry.
These marketing tactics have conditioned small-breasted women all over the world to believe they are not good enough and less than a woman for having less flesh on their chest…
I observe and experience this belief system first hand in my Nude Yoga workshops, where women with smaller breasts often share on how they feel “less feminine” for having a flatter chest.
This belief stems from long-standing,deep-seated conditioning, but also from believing that “feeling feminine” comes from looking a certain way, externally. Because that’s what the $65 Billion beauty industry tells us it does…
But it doesn’t. It really doesn’t!
It comes from a deep knowledge of self. A respect of self. An EMBODIMENT of self – no matter what you look like.
And some of the most embodied, sexy women I know have small breasts.
Last month I a session with an incredible Tantra teacher, sexual healer and good friend of mine Eyal Matsliah.
Eyal holds ‘Goddess Awakening Sessions’ for women to experience healing though pleasure. {Because it doesn’t have to always be painful ladies!}
Although I initially experienced some inner resistance to receiving the session (yes, vulnerability still scares me too!) I emerged a completely different woman equipped with some powerful insights from the 4.5 hours spent together in my Fremantle loft!
My connection to my breasts being one of them…
In fact, I don’t believe it was purely my stuff that I was processing – my healing was for the collective of small-breasted women.
After some deep discussions, tears, realisations, uncovering some old patterns and a full body massage (yaaassssss!!!) he rolled me over, placed his hands on my chest (with consent) and asked me:
“Do you like your breasts?”
I said:
“Yes”.
Then he asked me again:
“Have you always liked your breasts?”
I said:
“No”.
Then I burst into tears.
He cupped my breasts while I cried for all the times I told my breasts they weren’t big enough, round enough, high enough, firm enough etc etc etc.
I had basically been telling them – you’re not enough – over and over and over again.
Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously.
And when we tell one part of our body this negative message, we are actually telling our whole body. Our body doesn’t discern the difference – it’s all self-loathing energy…
At almost 30, I have come into a loving space of acceptance around my breasts and I honestly think they’re absolutely beautiful extensions of my open heart.
And yet, as Eyal held my left breast – feeling a lack of engagement, warmth, magnetism or presence in the tissue – it was apparent that, energetically speaking, my breasts hadn’t got the memo that I loved them!
It reminded me of a woman who did a spontaneous healing on me whilst on a tantra retreat in Bali. She hovered her hands over my breasts and told me how much un-appreciation and psychic attacks they had received from me.
My stomach sunk. I felt awful. How could I speak to my own body like this?
You see…
“On a cellular level our body remembers the stories we have told ourselves from a very young age”
That’s why some people hold onto unnecessary weight even if they’re “healthy” – because even if they’ve done the “work” on themselves, there is a still cellular story underlying in the background that we are somewhat, unaware of.
That’s why some women who get breast implants, can still be just as insecure as before, if not worse.
Because we’re band-aiding! And we need to look at the core belief, which resides deeper.
And the cellular story is still there until we create a NEW story and get’s HANDS ON with our body, our temple, our vessel – our connection to the Divine.
Eyal spoke on:
“You know what happens to parts of your body you don’t love, accept or appreciate?”
I said, “Yes, they get sick”.
Eyal: “Exactly”.
It’s not surprising that the two most prevalent cancers in the world are breast cancer in women (women’s hearts being their “energetic positive pole”) and prostate cancer in men (men’s base being their “energetic positive pole”). In Tantra, a woman’s negative pole being her Yoni, and a man’s negative pole being his Heart. This is obvious when seeing how men and women operate and interact with each other – women are usually polarised in there Heart space and GIVE love easily. Men are usually polarised in their Animal (base) and penetrate with ease.
So in our session, using conscious, loving, firm and soft touch, Eyal was bringing life force energy back into the tissue, lymph glands and the nipples, which on a physical level, I have never experienced much sensitivity.
It was sometimes pleasurable, sometime painful, and yet, after an hour of intense breast massage I began to FEEL more and regain sensitivity.
After he had finished, they felt completely different – they felt loved, adored and cherished.
I felt connected to my Heart more than ever and more in love with my breasts than ever!
I freaken LOVE my small breasts – they are perfect.
So are yours – no matter what shape or size.
Journalling Exercise:
I want you to pull out your journal and begin journalling to the questions below and see what comes up for you. Answer as honestly as possible. Be REAL with yourself! Don’t hide from the truth. However you feel is 100% OK!
- Do you like your breasts?
- What do you like about your breasts?
- What don’t you like about your breasts?
- How did you feel about your breasts before hitting puberty…and after?
- Can you physically feel your breasts and nipples?
- When’s the last time you massaged them or touched them in a loving way?
- Do your breasts feel loved?
- How connected to your Heart do you feel?
- How connected to your Breath do you feel?
- How do your breasts like to be touched by yourself?
- How do you breasts like to be touched by another?
- Are there any occasions where someone has commented on your breasts and it’s offended you?
- What compliments have you received about your breasts?
Homework:
This week I would like you to try these three exercises at home:
- Massage your breasts daily with a beautiful oil blend. Ideally 2 minutes (minimum) on each breast. After the shower is a nice time to do this. Massage them both slowly and softly as well as with firm pressure. Imagine channelling love and white light into each breast – receive this in through the nipples.
- Stop wearing a bra and allow them to be free. Notice how much easier it is to BREATHE when you don’t wear a bra! There is also research to prove that wearing a bra is actually counter-productive to having perkier breasts! Google it.
- When you look at them in the mirror, gaze softly at your breasts and repeat a mantra or affirmation that feels in resonance and alignment for you. For example, “You are enough”. Hold them and tell them this new story.
Let me know how these exercises go by commenting below.
If you’re Perth-based, you can book in a Breast Massage session to activate your Heart and come into a place of full Self Acceptance for your breasts. Our Heart is the gateway to so much pleasure, creation and joy!
Love Rosie x
