A Beginner's Guide to Choosing and Using Butt Plugs

Have you always felt like butt plugs were only for anal penetration preparation, a certain gender, or certain genitalia? If so, you may be surprised at all the ways butt plugs can be used and the amount of pleasure potential they offer.

Whether you have a vagina or a prostate, this versatile toy can be used by anyone who wants to explore, have fun, and amp up their pleasure.

Read on if you want to learn more about butt plugs, how to use them, how to make using a butt plug as comfortable as possible, and how to choose a butt plug.

What Is a Butt Plug?

A butt plug is a versatile sex toy designed for use in and around the anus. They are often made in clever shapes that support their function, typically narrow with a flared base to prevent it from getting stuck inside.

They can be made from a variety of materials and come in a range of shapes and sizes depending on your experience, comfort level, and intended use.

What Should I Know Before Choosing a Butt Plug?

When it comes to buying a butt plug, there are a few factors to consider:

  • Choose a flared base
  • Choose a high-quality item that is specifically intended for use in and around the body and not a novelty toy
  • Avoid cheaply made products that may leach harmful chemicals into your body
  • Start small (beginners should start with the smallest size available and work their way up as their comfort level and experience increases)
  • Opt for quality, nonporous materials such as silicon, glass, or stainless steel
  • Avoid butt plugs made from acrylics or hard plastics as these are porous and can promote bacterial overgrowth

The Bloom - pink glass butt plug perfect for beginners.

The Bloom is the perfect butt plug for beginners.

What Can Butt Plugs Be Used For?

Although anal sex warm-up is probably the most common use for butt plugs, they are also used for a variety of other sexual purposes including:

  • Within the BDSM community for dominance and submission play
  • Masturbation (a butt plug can be inserted while you stimulate your clit with a vibrator or fingers or insert a dildo in your vagina)
  • For double penetration (insert the butt plug, along with ample lube, and then enjoy vaginal penetration either from your partner’s fingers, a penis, or a dildo)
  • While receiving oral sex

Why Is Lube So Important for Anal Play and Butt Plug Use?

The rectum does not self-lubricate, making it susceptible to damage or tearing if an object is inserted without enough lubrication.

Do I Need Anal Specific Lube?

It is important to choose a lube specifically designed for anal sex as these lubricants will feature proper ingredients and slip.

A high-quality anal lube will be:

  • Formulated to complement the pH of the anus
  • Long-lasting and slippery
  • Comfortable and smooth gliding
  • Free of skin-damaging chemicals
  • Certified organic
  • Thick and velvety in texture
  • Safe for use with polyisoprene, natural rubber, or latex condoms
  • Compatible with silicone sex toys
  • Free of taste or odour
  • Non-sticky
  • Designed to match tissue osmolality
  • Not necessary to wash off after use
  • Free of glycerin, propylene glycol, aspartame, parabens, and preservatives or ingredients you cannot pronounce
  • Non-acidic (unlike vaginal lubricants which are specifically formulated to be compatible with the vaginal atmosphere)
  • Designed to support the delicate, vulnerable tissues of the anus

What Is the Best Way to Insert a Butt Plug?

First, focus on foreplay. Rather than going straight for penetration with the butt plug, work on getting turned on through any activities you enjoy. Also, be sure to use enough lube and get as relaxed as possible (more on that below).

Next, start small before inserting your plug (fingers work great for this). Start with one finger and a lot of lube and you or your partner can use a finger to slowly circle the anus before gently gliding the finger in. Once one finger is inserted comfortably, you can move up to two fingers.

Once two fingers have been inserted comfortably, cover your butt plug in lube and slowly and gently slide it into your anus. You can play around with different positions that may make insertion easier (bent over in doggy-style position seems to work well).

Instead of heading straight to penetration, focus on foreplay and getting turned on.

How Do I Relax My Anus for Anal Play?

Here are some tips for relaxing your anus for anal play:

  • Get turned on completely through masturbation, mutual stimulation, porn, erotic literature, a hot bath, dim lights, your favourite music — whatever soothes you and puts you in the mood
  • Be as gentle as possible when inserting anything into your anus
  • Breathe deeply and with intent
  • Bear down with your sphincter muscles when inserting a toy for the first time
  • Be patient with yourself and stop at any time you experience pain or feel uncomfortable or are not fully enjoying yourself

What Is the Easiest Way to Remove a Butt Plug?

Here are some tips for removing a butt plug:

  • Take slow, steady breaths
  • Gently pull it out yourself by holding it at the base and sliding it out of you or have a partner help you
  • Removing a butt plug can be easier if you have had an orgasm as this will cause the pelvic floor muscles to relax

What Is the Best Way to Clean a Butt Plug?

Here are some tips for what to do with your butt plug after use:

  • Wash your hands with warm water and soap
  • Wash the butt plug with warm soapy water
  • If you have a vagina, be careful not to transfer bacteria from the butt to your vulva or vagina as this puts you at risk of infection
  • If you are with a partner, have them wash their hands as well
  • Silicone butt plugs can often be washed in the dishwasher
  • Some butt plugs can be boiled for disinfection
  • Check the manufacturer’s instructions for how to clean your butt plug properly

Crystal Butt Plugs: Black Obsidian is a healing stone while Rose Quartz is the stone of the Heart Chakra which represents self-love.

Which Butt Plug Is Best For Me?

Choosing a butt plug is a personal decision and it may be overwhelming if you have never used one before. That’s okay! Use the tips above when choosing a butt plug and, when in doubt, please do not hesitate to reach out to me for advice on which butt plug may be best for you.

We also have some wonderful, enlightening, non-judgmental conversations in my private Facebook group. I invite you to join if you are looking for a safe, sacred space to discuss all things sex, empowerment, and self-love.