fbpx

SIGN IN TO YOUR ACCOUNT

FORGOT YOUR PASSWORD?

FORGOT YOUR DETAILS?

AAH, WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW!
  • ABOUT
    • About Rosie
    • In the Media
    • Podcasts
  • SHOP
    • Online Course
    • All Products
    • Best Sellers
    • Yoni Eggs
    • Wands
    • Accessories
    • Womb Healing Meditation
    • Wholesale + Affiliate
  • NUDE YOGA
    • Facilitator Training
    • Learn more
    • Buy Tickets to Events
  • OFFERINGS
    • Resources
    • 1:1 Coaching
    • Yoni Boudoirs
  • BLOG
    • PODCAST
  • FAQ
    • Crystal Origins
    • How to Use a Yoni Egg
    • Yoni eggs FAQ
    • Nude yoga FAQ
  • CONTACT
  • #
Rosie Rees
  • ABOUT
    • About Rosie
    • In the Media
    • Podcasts
  • SHOP
    • Online Course
    • All Products
    • Best Sellers
    • Yoni Eggs
    • Wands
    • Accessories
    • Womb Healing Meditation
    • Wholesale + Affiliate
  • NUDE YOGA
    • Facilitator Training
    • Learn more
    • Buy Tickets to Events
  • OFFERINGS
    • Resources
    • 1:1 Coaching
    • Yoni Boudoirs
  • BLOG
    • PODCAST
  • FAQ
    • Crystal Origins
    • How to Use a Yoni Egg
    • Yoni eggs FAQ
    • Nude yoga FAQ
  • CONTACT
  • #
  • No products in cart.
Back
casualsex

can friends with benefits actually work?

May 29, 2013 . Written by Rosie Rees

Can friends have casual, no-strings-attached sex? More to the point, can it work?

That is the question.

Let me clarify. When I ask can it work, I mean can they remain friends, catch up over coffee or dinner, have the same sort of conversations, can they not get jealous of other potentials in the picture, can they not get attached, can they not fall in love.

These are the questions.

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard a girlfriend moan, ‘I just want someone to shag with no strings attached!’. Yes men this is the case, you can close your jaw now. Just like the first Friends episode where Chandler overhears Rachel talking to some friends about how she wants to have one last night of meaningless sex before she marries Barry and that she wants to have it with the first guy she lays her eyes on, which Chandler then makes sure is him. Even though Rachel and Chandler never got to have that meaningless sex (much to Chandler’s dismay), the point is that women and men have sexual needs and urges and sometimes due to proximity, things in common, similar interests, even mere attraction, a pal can be an easy target for some bang bang. You do everything else with them and have fun, why not sex?

But can being lovers kill the friendship? Or vise versa, can the friendship kill being lovers?

What came first, the chicken or the egg…

The answer is yes and no (or chicken or the egg depending what you believe in). It depends on the individuals involved, the unique circumstances of the situation, the foundations of the friendship AND…drum roll…whether you can both stay on the same page. This last part is where it makes or breaks the arrangement. Having a casual sex partner (CSP) with your buddy is all well and good until one party starts to grow feelings and get emotionally involved, which let’s face it, is completely natural considering you’re only human and sex is a very connective, spiritual, emotional and physical experience to share with another being. It’s the epitome of ‘opening up’ yourself on all levels; you’re completely vulnerable, sensual, loving, bonding, free, raw and sexy during the act and with the sharing of touch, chemistry, looks, juices and energy, there’s no wonder one person might start to feel attached! It’s science people. We’re not robots.

So I hit the streets (AKA Facebook) and quizzed some men and women about the topic. Most if not all the men said something along the lines of “the woman are always the ones who change their feelings and become more attached”, so they weren’t keen on the idea of a friend with benefits. They said that the woman would often wind up feeling cut because she had expectations of it moving into something more, which more times than not it didn’t. Surprisingly a lot of the women said it wasn’t an easy task trying to find a CSP and that “a lot of guys are just looking for a one nighter fling or a long term relationship”. One woman put it simply, ‘I have needs!” Another man said it become less about the ‘buddy’ and more about the ‘fuck’ and things get too complicated. 

After my general synopsis, it sounded to me like there are too many shades of grey and not enough blacks and whites. Unless one is good at compartmentalising their own feelings and emotions there is not much point of exploring the friendship zone, sexually. Catch ups start to move into the bedroom, you start to care about whether or not they text you, then before you know it you start to wonder if they’re thinking about you too. Shit. Gets. Real.

Historically women find it hard to switch on and switch off and hence comes the onslaught of jealousy, control and attachment issues, however there is certainly a new age of ‘sexually-free’ women who embrace the idea of  casual sex encounters without all the ‘icky stuff’. Yes men, they are out there and they’re a growing breed. However, before you go bedding your friend, there are a few things you need to know which might stop you in your tracks:

So, what screws it up…?

Over analysis?

Lack of communication of feelings?

Misunderstanding?

Social conditioning?

Biological conditioning?

Sex and the City conditioning?

Daddy issues?

Gentlemen, don’t assume all women want to settle down and have babies. Also don’t assume that they don’t. Just don’t assume ever OK.

Ladies, whether you’re a new age ‘devour-and-conquer’ woman or a traditionalist settle-down kinda woman, think twice before you embark down the FWB path, for it is a windy maze full of many twists and turns. It might tickle the urge initially, but chemistry is chemistry and unless you got a solid reign on those heart strings – be prepared.

So RR followers, I put it to you…can friends with benefits work? It is possible to have casual sex sans the commitment? Is monogamy losing the appeal? Can we have a FWB without the romantic ties and obligations?

 

Photo source



What you can read next

Rosie_28
How to shift from “genital sneezes” to full body orgasms!
January 25, 2017
Mutual masturbation has a range of benefits
5 Benefits of Mutual Masturbation
March 18, 2020
aw
The link between SEX + ABUNDANCE
February 10, 2015
Rosie Rees

Hello, I’m Rosie

I'm on a mission to help every woman accept, love & embrace her naked body and celebrate her sexuality!

x x

Top Selling Products

  • Adreno Jing - Mushroom Coffee Replacement
  • Labradorite Pleasure Wand - Limited Edition | Pre order, expect dispatch 10th April
  • LOV Mate - Cacao Coffee Replacement
  • Obsidian Belly Massager

Subscribe to Pillow Talk

Join a newsletter community of over 15,000 people worldwide! Sign up to our weekly hump day newsletter with three juicy nuggets of wisdom about love, sex and relationships. You will also receive early-bird prices on my events and discounts only for Rosie Rees and Yoni Pleasure Palace subscribers.

UPCOMING CLASSES AND EVENTS

  • 1:1 Sexuality Coaching Session With Rosie
  • Yoni Egg Online Course

Categories

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

DOWNLOAD MY E-BOOK

Unlock Your Erotic Empowerment

JOIN THE COMMUNITY

It’s true love ❤️💩 It’s true love ❤️💩
Page 3 in the @thewestaustralian 📰 today! My ba Page 3 in the @thewestaustralian 📰 today! My baby @naked.awakening received so much love and praise for helping women embrace their bodies! 👏👏👏 #stopsuckingitin 

Book in for a workshop here: www.nakedawakening.com.au 

Also watch the news tonight with @dr_katherine chatting about this movement. 

Big thank you to:
@theyogaroomscarborough 
@saschamartineau 
@jessie.stoel 
@shrinking_b2.0 
@phoebewightman 
@ash_rwyg 
@iammarieburns
Strongest, most brave person I know. ♥️ Strongest, most brave person I know. ♥️
Visualising my girl out of hospital and back on st Visualising my girl out of hospital and back on stage dancing like this. All the love and good energy baby ✨✨✨ @ashleighannmacdonald 

@thejunglebody

7 DAYS TO SENSUAL AWAKENING

7 Days to Sensual Awakening

YONI EGG ONLINE COURSE

Yoni egg online course

YONI MASSAGE ONLINE COURSE

Yoni massage online course

LINGAM MASSAGE ONLINE COURSE

Lingam massage online course

TANTRIC MASSAGE COURSE

Tantric Massage course

Sacred Sexuality Online Course

Sacred Sexuality Online Course

Relationship Tantra Online Course

Relationship Tantra Online Course

Ignite Your Power Online Course

Ignite Your Power Online Course

MASTER LOVER ONLINE COURSE

Master Love Online Course

TANTRIC EJACULATION MASTERY

Tantric Ejaculation Mastery

TANTRA

Tantric Ejaculation Mastery

YONI YOGA

Yoni Yoga Course

SELF: CERVIX – WITH OLIVIA BRYANT

Self: Cervix - With Olivia Bryant

YONI CLUB – WITH BONNIE BLISS

Yoni Club - With Bonnie Bliss

AWAKEN FEMALE PLEASURE – WITH EYAL MATSLIAH (FOR MEN AND WOMEN)

Awaken Female Pleasure - With Eyal Matsliah (for Men and Women)

ROSIE REES

  • About
  • Shop
  • Nude Yoga
  • Buy Tickets to Events
  • Blog

CUSTOMER

  • Shipping
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Yoni Eggs FAQ
  • Nude Yoga FAQs
  • Contact

PERSONAL AREA

  • My Account
  • Cart
  • Wishlist
Copyright © 2021 Rosie Rees. Designed by Digital Hitmen. Privacy Policy.
TOP

Free Pleasure Wand and Orgasm eGuide

Enter your email address to receive your free copy!

Have you experienced a Women’s Nude Yoga workshop with Rosie before?

YESNO
JOIN THE 30 DAY

YONI EGG CHALLENGE

TODAY FOR ONLY $49
SIGN ME UP!

90 MIN COACHING CALL WITH ROSIE

BOOK NOW