To make a conscious change or shift in our life, there is predominantly one quality that we need to tap into…COURAGE. No matter what it is you’re trying to change, whether it be your relationship, your job, relocating to a new country, starting a new course, or even telling someone the truth…it all requires a pinch (or a bucket load) of golden courage.
We all have it in us. For some it’s like a deep well; it might take a while to lower the basket down to find the water, yet for others it bubbles right at the surface. Either way, plucking up the courage to change something in your life is exactly that – the key to making change.
Change can be a daunting quest for most and not necessarily welcomed, instead people prefer the security of their own comfort zone circle (besides, it’s so warm and cosy under a security blanket). However, like those sayings go… ‘a change is as good as a holiday’, and ‘life beings at the edge of your comfort zone’; people need change to feel alive: fact. It is progression, change, diversity and variety that keeps life juicy and interesting. Maybe it’s because I moved around quite a bit as a kid – houses, cities and schools – that I became accustomed to change; I even expected it. Or maybe I have a few more nomadic bones in my body than the average home-body human. In fact, every couple of years I get itchy feet and need to feel some form of variety or change, whether it be big or small. Once I feel that something isn’t serving me in the most positive way it can, I slip out the side exit door or pull the emergency parachute to deviate my journey. Once I am not challenged or don’t feel like I am growing in a healthy or organic way towards my end goal, I am graced with these bright, red, neon lights and alarm bells ringing and flashing in my head saying ‘It’s time to change something!’
Your life conditions can affect the blue print of your life. I used to feel sprinklings of shame about my constant changes and movements; even jealousy towards people who had ‘stable’ relationships, homes and lives, envying their long-standing boyfriend, their family house they lived in for 25 years, their established job…but now I embrace my nature and I welcome change into my life. Something a great transition coach once said to me really struck a chord:
What you FEEL matters. Within your feelings are cues and guidance on how to live in alignment with your TRUTH.
– Marissa Hakansson
Life is impermanent, guaranteed! Nothing is permanent, everything is temporary, and it’s so important to not just think yourself through your life but also feel yourself and your callings. Life is bound to change, with or without you and it’s how you deal with it that makes the difference. When life presents change, good or bad, we can choose to adjust to it, feel it (have courage) and move forward…or mask it, ignore it and carry on. The latter is the most unbeneficial ‘bottle-up’ method to approach change as masking anything will result in the emotions revealing their nasty head down the track but also creating a sore back from carrying around all the negative baggage around with you.
We are all naturally in a state of perpetual change. If you stay put and don’t make any changes, more often than not familiarity will breed contempt and boredom. Recent stats say that the average person will have over five different jobs over the course of their lifetime. Just look how many times Madonna has transformed herself! If she can have guns and wear a skin tight leotard in her 50s then anything is possible. Amongst all the change, balance can be achieved in your mind-set, and this is the key to creating positive change – keeping a stable mind set. Be the calm amongst the storm. As long as your life conditions match your core expectations, you will experience happiness.
If you want to create change in your life (massive or minature), try the following steps:
- Define what it is you want to change – figure out what is most important to you
- Write down why you want to change it – get clear on your vision
- Create a transition plan and a backup plan – ‘to fail to plan is to plan to fail’
- Build a support network – confide in friends and/or family who care about your wellbeing
- Be prepared and commit to the change – listen to your gut
- Take the plunge (rip off the band-aid) OR ease yourself slowly into the transition
- Enjoy the journey, be present and remember not take yourself too seriously. If things don’t work out the way you expected, smile and know that everything happens for a reason. Laugh at yourself if something blows up in your face…brush yourself off!
Depending on the size and scope of the change you want to make, you may consider getting yourself a Transition Coach, like Marissa Hakansson, who empowers women to embody and express their authentic self. If you feel like you don’t have anyone supportive in your life conducive to the change you want to make, then find someone! Just remember, sometimes the wrong turn and take you to the right place. There is always a silver lining on change, whether it’s a tragedy or a purposeful change. Like Maya Angelou once said…If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
Anthony Robbins poses a question around change that I will leave you with…What focus, emotional patterns, belief system, life conditions, models of the world, body language or state of mind is preventing you from changing or keeping you from getting what you want?