One of the most transformative tools I teach my clients for enhanced sexual well-being is De-Armouring.
D-what? When you hear the word de-armouring, what does it make you think of? Something involving the army, perhaps? De-armouring — also known as yoni massage — is actually a process focused on releasing sexual blockages and eliminating any numbness or pain. Once de-armoured, our bodies are able to experience increased pleasure, wetness, and internal orgasms and access the pleasure we are truly capable of.
Along the lines of a deep tissue massage, de-armouring involves strategic pressure applied to specific places in the vaginal canal. By stimulating these areas of tightness and contraction with proper pressure, you can release spiritual, emotional, and physical blockages.
During the process of de-armouring, blood flow to sexual tissues is increased, pressure spots are released, and pathways open up for psychological, physical, and emotional healing to occur.
Do You Have a Sad or Uptight Vagina?
Yes, I really just asked you that.
If you have never heard of de-armouring before, it might surprise you to know that your vagina can carry emotional, physical, and spiritual ‘baggage’.
Suppressed anger, shame, guilt, or sadness can all congregate in your vaginal canal and significantly limit your pleasure potential. Maybe you are still experiencing some clitoral pleasure and limited sensations, but if you have never had a G-spot or cervical orgasm, you might want to listen up.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking this is “just how I’m built” or that your sex life is “good enough”. After de-armouring sessions, you have the power to totally transform your vagina and open yourself up to internal orgasms, feel more relaxed, softer, lighter, and ready for pure sexual bliss.
Essentially, it’s like doing a spring cleaning of your body to help you feel better connected to yourself and more open to pleasure.
Who Can Benefit From Consistent De-Armouring Sessions?
While I believe that every woman can benefit from regular de-armouring, you may be curious to learn more about who could really see big changes from this yoni massages.
If you can relate to any of this and are curious if vaginal de-armouring may be helpful to you, ask yourself if you:
- Feel little to no sensation in your vaginal area
- Have experienced trauma
- Have low self-esteem
- Experience body shame
- Are always in your head during intercourse or foreplay
- Experience pain or tightness during sex
- Struggle with internal orgasms
- Experience limited enjoyment
- Feel disconnected, blocked, stuck, or like you are carrying ‘baggage’ down there
Our vaginas are highly sensitive to any negative experiences and can hold onto tension. These negative experiences can include pain during sex, negative cultural messages, sex before we are ready and relaxed, unwelcome comments, abuse, or any other unwanted experiences.
This can manifest as lack of physical sensations or behavioral patterns that negatively impact the way you experience sex and pleasure.
Under normal circumstances, our sexual tissues would be relaxed and open to sexual experiences and pleasure. However, any tension or baggage can cause contraction, pain, or tightness in response to sexual stimulation. It is our body’s way of responding to energetic, physical, or emotional pain.
These areas of contraction are typically located in the vagina and consist of built-up pockets of pressure that can feel numb or sore when touched. In addition to negative physical sensations, these areas can also release emotional responses such as sadness, grief, or anger when stimulated. Experiencing these issues can lead to anxiety in the bedroom, numbness in the vaginal region, sexual shutdown, and low libido.
The good news is that our bodies are amazing and fully capable of incredible transformation and sexual healing. One of the tools I recommend most for facilitating this deep, sacred healing is de-armouring or yoni massage.
How To Perform Yoni Massage / De-Armour Your Vagina
De-armouring is a practice that can be done solo or along with a trusted partner. In this blog we’ll be focusing on solo de-armouring, but be sure to let me know if you ever have questions on partner focused de-armouring.
For solo yoni massage, you will need a dildo, since it is doubtful you will be able to reach your cervix with just your fingers while also staying relaxed. While mostly viewed as strictly pleasure focused tools, dildos are also ideal for facilitating healing through yoni massage.
For solo yoni massage, I highly recommend our Cervix Serpent Glass Pleasure Wand. The Cervix Serpent is sleek, elegantly designed, and specifically crafted with a bulbous head to help de-armour the cervix.
Here are some tips for getting started with solo yoni massage:
- Listen to your body
- Go slow
- Completely release any judgement
- Eliminate expectations
- Give yourself full permission to express any and all emotions — anger, tears, rage, laughter, grief — that surface
- Remember that the goal right now is not to have an orgasm but rather to release any stored emotion, tightness, or trauma
- Do not overthink or ‘get in your head’
- Trust your body
- Hold nothing back
Now that we’ve covered the important tips to remember before starting your yoni massage, I will explain the specific steps.
1. Make Sure You are Fully Turned On
I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Before you use the dildo to enter your vagina, ensure you are completely relaxed and turned on (you may want to try some of these yoni warm up techniques). Some of the more common ways to achieve this and help become soft and open include clitoral stimulation and/or a breast massage.
Far too many of us have been penetrated before we were ready, creating unwanted tension in the vagina. This makes it crucial to be adequately turned on before beginning yoni massage.
This step in itself is very healing and will help you reclaim the power of choice and consent. This, in turn, helps increase the level of trust with your vagina and can be incredibly powerful.
So always remember for yoni massage — or any other sexual activity for that matter — to make sure your body is fully invested and open beforehand.
2. Insert Your Stone Dildo
Once your body has given you permission to allow the dildo to enter your yoni, take your Cervix Serpent and add some lubrication before gently sliding it into your vagina.
Next, use your dildo to explore and search for any areas of tension, pain, or numbness. Any area that feels ‘yucky’, uncomfortable, or slightly numb is worth focusing on.
Once you locate a spot — common areas needing de-armouring include the cervix, the entrance to the vagina, deep within the vagina, and the G-spot — it is time to hold the dildo there and turn your focus to this area before adding further pressure.
Essentially, you are pushing into the numbness or pain and facing it instead of avoiding it.
3. Express the Sensation Through Sound (The Key Step)
Using sound — without any judgment whatsoever — to express what you are feeling and experiencing is key for healing. Feeling anger? Let it out. Feeling sadness? Let it out. Sound the pain fully and completely.
If you need to scream, laugh, cry, grunt, growl, moan… anything goes! Express anything that comes to the surface until you feel the discomfort or numbness naturally subside.
Let everything out and watch yourself transform. Expressing feelings and sensations that have been repressed is a powerful, transformative tool in the healing process.
4. Find What You Need
Once you feel satisfied that you have fully expressed and released a certain spot (this typically takes about a minute), gently remove the pressure and ask your body: what do you need now?
Maybe you have had enough for the session and desire a break, journaling, or cuddling with your partner or yourself. Maybe you want to fall asleep. Maybe you want to watch a movie and relax. Or maybe you want to continue exploring and releasing. Whatever your body desires and needs, honour it.
If you do want to continue, locate another area of pain or discomfort and apply pressure within your vagina. If you want to, the vagina can be de-armoured in a single session.
You can also work through multiple areas over the course of multiple sessions. The process is entirely up to you and under your control.
For many women, it will take multiple, consistent de-armouring sessions to heal entirely, release blockages, and move past any previous sexual trauma.
You will find that after performing de-armouring several times, new sensations and pleasure may arise from areas such as your cervix or g-spot. Now it’s time to express sounds of pleasure!
5. Practice Self-Love
The most important part of this practice is treating yourself with absolute love and acceptance. No judgment allowed! Only unconditional self-love and deep awareness can facilitate and support healing.
Allowing your body to feel loved and safe will open you up to healing. Try not to think too much. Release any judgments. Be careful not to get caught up in how you sound or look.
Really work on letting go, honouring your feelings and desires, and trusting yourself and the process.