Tantra isn’t just for people relationships, and it certainly goes beyond sexuality.
In tantra, the most important relationship that exists is the relationship with the self.
Our relationship with ourselves is reflected in our relationship with others; we are the internal microcosm of the external macrocosm (our inner landscape reflects our outer landscape) and it’s key that we harness and cultivate our relationship with our self.
So if we want to attract a partner, we must start with ourselves.
So what is Tantra?
Tantra is an ancient path to self love and enlightenment.
It is a way of living that considers all aspects of life to be divine, including sex. This is what makes Tantra so different to other ancient religious institutions as it doesn’t exclude sex as being sacred. Tantra sees sexuality as a means of connecting to God and a holistic way of living that doesn’t see sex as shameful.
On the same token, Tantra is about re-connecting with your deepest essence (your inner God), which leads me to the notion that when you feel whole, you won’t need someone else to make you feel complete and that desperation for a partner disappears.
Tantra will help you arrive at your whole self again, which will inevitably attract a partner.
A huge portion of the world’s population is SINGLE, so here are some helpful exercises that I regularly use (and I am now in a relationship and I still use them!). These practices will heighten your vibration, help you bring awareness into your breath and connect to your sensuality.
1. Eye Gaze with yourself
Connecting with your own eyes is a deeply profound experience and healing on many levels as you see beyond the physical.
By using a mirror and looking deep into your own eyes at least once a day for about 5 minutes, you will begin to become more connected with your spirit and how you are feeling on a deeper, emotional level. You will also fall more in love with yourself and see the pure beauty and light that is within.
Eye gazing is a meditative practice which will help you reconnect with yourself and also other people’s eyes, especially when you are holding conversation. Lengthen the practice to 15 minutes or longer and add a mantra to your eye gazing practice, by saying to yourself in the mirror ‘I love you [add name here], I really, really love you’.
2. Invest in a Yoni Egg
If you want to supercharge your connection to your whole being, then reconnecting to your sexuality is essential.
The Yoni Egg is a beautiful way of doing this. A Yoni Egg is an egg-shaped stone or crystal used to insert into the vagina to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, increase sensitivity, enhance lubrication and heal any old sexual wounds that are deep within the yoni.
We tend to hold a lot of stress and tension in the vagina, so by using a small crystal stone internally it helps to clear out past lovers, connect to your own sensuality and feel more empowered in your sexuality.
By infusing an intention into your this practice you will bring about more of these qualities into your being.
Here is a fabulous course by my friend Tara O created – The Jade Egg Academy – to help you learn how to start practicing!
3. Learn how to BREATHE the right way
Breath is life, yet most of us don’t actually breathe, or if we do it’s very shallow.
Try breathing from your belly by placing your hands on your abdomen and inhale expanding your stomach and exhale relaxing your stomach in towards your spine.
The yogic breath is a great place to start. By re-learning the right way to breathe (how we breathed when we are babies) it will help you expand your lung capacity, feel more energy and vitality, clear the mind and calm the nervous system.
If you ever feel stuck when you try to meditate, simply follow your breath in and out. I set an alarm three times a day where I pause and take 3 deep, long breaths.
The more we breathe, the more we feel and connect to our powerful life force energy.
4. Try Kundalini Yoga, the original Tantric Yoga!
Kundalini Yoga belongs to the tantra tradition.
Through the tantric scriptures, we are taught ways to relate to the universe in the form of shakti, or the feminine power or energy. This shakti, or energy, that exists outside our bodies also exists within ourselves in the form of the goddess, and is called ‘kundalini’. Kundalini can be thought of as the inner manifestation of the divine mother and is a powerful force inside our bodies.
Within our bodies, the dormant kundalini sits at the base of the spine in the muladhara chakra and Kundalini Yoga aims to awaken this base energy and bring it up into your body and into your life – a creative life force energy!
This healing practice helped me awaken to my potential, let go of harmful addictions and connect to my soul in a way I never had before.
Watch this video below for some helful demonstrations.