If you’re reading this and you don’t currently have vaginal orgasms, you’re not alone. New research suggests that 75% of women don’t orgasm during penetrative sex, making it frustrating for both parties involved.
However, the elusive vaginal orgasm is not impossible to experience – it just may take more time, patience, commitment and vulnerability. Unlike clitoral orgasms, which are short, explosive and relatively straight forward (i.e. rub on the clit for a desired amount of time and you will likely climax), internal vaginal orgasms, however, take more time and is not as straight forward.
That’s why I have written an article to help you experience an internal orgasm – because every single person with a vulva can. So if you’re inside the 75% statistic, read on…
1. LET YOUR GUARD DOWN
First and foremost, to have a vaginal orgasm you must feel safe enough in your relationship (or with yourself) to surrender and have your guard down. Yep, that means being vulnerable, opening up and sharing with your partner your needs, wants, fears and desires.
If your heart isn’t open or you are going through some emotional instability or trust issues in your relationship, this will reflect in the bed chambers. Simply put: “If your heart won’t open, nor will your vagina”. In Taoist sexual reflexology, the Cervix is considered to be the heart point, so if you don’t feel safe or able to be fully seen by your partner, the Cervix will not orgasm.
The best way to solve this is to have a heart-centred conversation with your partner and clearing anything that hasn’t been spoken about. I always say: “A vulnerable conversation is the key to cataclysmic sex!”
2. GET TO KNOW YOUR VULVA ANATOMY
It’s hard to have vaginal orgasms if you don’t know the internal landscape of your vagina, which unfortunately we don’t learn in school. There are many types of internal orgasms available to us, however the two ‘main’ ones are the G-Spot Orgasm (shallow inside the vaginal canal) and the Cervical Orgasm (deep inside the vaginal canal).
The G-Spot is a spongey textured area located on the upper wall of the vagina about 1 inch inside (on the same side of the body as the belly button). The Cervix, however is deep inside your vagina and is at the end of the vaginal canal. It is the gateway between the vagina and the uterus and only opens a little when you bleed and when you ovulate (or during childbirth of course). Both spots can be highly orgasmic when stimulated in the right way. Here is a useful video to learning how to squirt from a G-spot orgasm.
3. PUT DOWN THE VIBRATOR
Vaginal orgasms are less about external clit-stimulation and more about internal awakening. So if you have a regular vibrator self pleasure practice, we suggest putting it away for a few months (or for good) and focus on going within – literally.
By reducing time using a vibrator, not only will your vaginal walls become more alive and sensitized, so will your clit! If you want to awaken your vagina to feel more sensation, try our Rose Curve or Black Obsidian Curve dildos. These crystal wands are multi-purposeful as they are long enough to reach the Cervix and also have a bulbous tip to help engorge the G-Spot. Having been addicted to vibrators in the past, I can 100% attest to deeper and more profound orgasms WITHOUT needing a vibrator. Less is more!
4. TAKE YOUR TIME
Unlike clit orgasms, G-Spot and Cervical orgasms take longer to achieve (sometimes up to 45 minutes). Internal vaginal orgasms are experienced throughout the whole body and can result in shuddering, squirting, shaking, crying, convulsing, laughter and emotional releases.
So regardless if you’re masturbating or being intimate with a partner, give yourself plenty of time to explore internal penetration, without the “goal” of having a clitoral orgasm. If you feel rushed or pressured, it’s not going to happen, so give yourself lots and lots of time to fully surrender and let go. When this happens, that’s when your sacred waters will flow, which can sometimes be tears…or…squirting.
5. DO YOUR YONI EGG KEGELS
If you want to have consciousness-altering internal orgasms, something to start doing straight away is use your yoni egg. Just 30 minutes a day doing some juicy Yoni Egg Yoga exercises (like in my online course) and you will be on your way to feeling more during sex!
When I started using my Yoni Egg consistently (over 5 years ago), it was only then that I started having internal orgasms. That’s because the yoni egg acts as a weight resistance which helped to activate my internal muscles, creating more sensation, lubrication and dexterity.
6. HEAL YOUR TRAUMA
If you have experienced sexual trauma in your life (…sadly 1 in 3 women have), this may be blocking your ability to experience your full pleasure potential. When we experience something painful in our life, emotional, sexual or physical, it is often stored inside our body resulting in pain, numbness, disease or discomfort. So when it comes to sexual trauma, it’s important that we do the healing work on our vulvas to clear the blockages – energetically and physically.
For some women, this may going to see a pelvic floor physio-therapist, or booking a Yoni Mapping session, listening to our Womb Healing meditation, using a Yoni Egg in a sacred ritual, using the Cervix Serpent for de-armouring or simply talking to like-minded women in our private Facebook group. If you have experienced soft or hard sexual trauma, make sure you receive help so you can unlock your full pleasure potential INSIDE your vagina.
I hope this article has been resourceful for learning more about how to experience more internal orgasms.
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Love Rosie xo
Photos by Rebecca Mansell: www.rebeccamansell.com