Your libido is greatly affected by where you live, just ask anyone in a relationship who lives at home with their parents! #instantmoodkiller
And recently I have had a lot of my clients unhappy with their home life, and hence unhappy with their sex life.
The thing is, to be vulnerable, surrender and let go sexually we must feel safe – both emotionally and physically.
Safety is created by one’s energy they hold, their intention, integrity, vibe, words, boundaries, communication, eye contact, character, presence and aura.
It is also created by the physical space – the house, location, city, country, the bed, pillows, texture of the sheets, the cleanliness of the room/house, smell, how many people are around/live with you, amount of water, wood, nature, stone or metal present in the house, feng sui. EVERYTHING!
It is trust that is formed by the safety of the energetic and physical space held. And it’s trust that allows us to be intimate with another.
If something, someone or somewhere has bad juju it’s hard to let go and feel safe to unravel, right?
“Where we live relates directly to our root chakra; our base, our foundation, home, safety, security, certainty. If we don’t have food, shelter and safety – we can’t surrender. Our sexuality is also directly related to our root chakra as it’s the energetic hub that sits at the physical location of the genitals. They are highly inter-related.”
Over the past 6 – 12 months my libido went dramatically downhill. And it wasn’t just my sexual libido, it was my libido for life.
You see, 12 months ago we decided to take on the lease of an 8 bedroom house in suburbia and live as a community – AKA a share house with people we know, trust and love.
For the most part, it felt like a family and the bonds I formed with the housemates were literally like brothers and sisters.
However, on the flip side it was extremely stressful at times to live harmoniously with other people and maintain a solid, strong and harmonious relationship with my partner.
All my instincts were wanting to nest with my beloved and create a “home” together, rather than worry about whose turn it was to water the plants, take out the garbage, clean the toilets and do the washing up. I became a nagging mother hen, and not in a good way.
Without placing blame on the house (although I did this many times in fits of rage!), living there greatly impacted our sex life, but not only that, my sexual connection to myself decreased as well. I hardly wore my Jade Egg, I almost never self pleasured, and I experienced low libido, mediocre orgasms and painful sex at times.
My yoni was not happy.
I was not happy.
Previously, when I lived in the beach shack, surrounded by nature, and with only one other person who was extremely open-minded and pro-expression and nudity, I opened up sexually more than ever before – both with my partner and myself.
Why? Because the physical and energetic space was being held for me to crack open.
“In this sanctuary I was able to reach deeper G-spot and vaginal orgasms. I experienced ejaculation for the first time. I could be extremely vocal during sex (which I never felt comfortable with). I could cry during or after sex if I felt I need to. I felt sexually free for the first time EVER. I never knew I could access these blissful highs…from sex and love-making.”
However the moment we moved into the new house, my body did not feel safe to do any of that and my yoni closed down.
All the old paradigm shit I felt around sex started creeping in.
I felt I needed to be quiet in case anyone would hear us. I didn’t feel open to expressing my wild side, in case I was judged or scrutinised. I was not only sexually blocked, but I also felt creatively blocked whilst living in the house.
The signs I needed to move…
I experienced writers block…all the time.
I became stiff, rigid and masculine in my approach to work, sex and life (just ask my partner!).
I was constantly “busy” and stressed out.
I stopped dancing and moving my body sensually.
I was not connecting with nature nearly as much.
I put on weight and found it hard to commit to exercise.
We began fighting, a lot.
I was unhappy, a lot.
I didn’t enjoy coming home.
I wasn’t in love with our bedroom space.
I was picking up on everyone else’s energy.
I couldn’t seem to have fun when I was “working” (I mean seriously, how can you call this work?)
“Creativity is of the same essence as sexual energy so I am not surprised my libido was not flowing.”
I knew something had to change. I had been saying for over 6 months I wanted to move, and when I finally found the house of my dreams, I made it happen (manifestation is a click of the fingers – literally).
Since moving into this new space, my sexual energy is back to how it used to be, if not better!
I am wearing my Jade Egg every day.
I am practicing Yoni Egg Yoga.
We are making love more often and mixing it up!
I am re-connecting with myself, sensually again…slowly.
I feel more aroused and relaxed with life.
I don’t feel “blocked” or busy. I feel relaxed and in the flow.
Sometimes you need to physically change your outer environment to change your inner experience.
Homes are where we spend so much time (especially if you work from home too), so if the energy is not quite right for you, move. You have the power to do that. Don’t wait until worse gets to worse. Take control of the situation.
Just because you move, doesn’t mean all your problems will go away. I get that. However, if you’re not happy where you live and it’s affecting your intimate connection, it’s time to make a choice. Your relationship and sex life is PARAMOUNT to your overall happiness.
Find (or create) a space that allows you to open yourself, express yourself and show your wild side…in the bedroom.
Do I feel in the flow with where I currently live?
Does where I live allow me to open up, sexually?
Do I feel safe – physically and emotionally – in my current setting?
Do I have ample privacy?
Do I feel grounded, connected and able to be around nature?
What needs to change? Be removed? Updated? Do you need to relocate?
If I could live anywhere? With anyone? Where would that be, and who with? (dare to dream!)
I would love to hear your say in the comments below!
Love Rosie x
Photo Credits by Sacred Union Photography
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