Isiah is a Certified Somatic Sex Therapist and studied at the Institute for the Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality in the USA. By using both talk therapy and experiential learning, Somatic Sex Therapy is a holistic therapy that helps people who may be experiencing problems around sex, intimacy and relationships. Isiah has been helping women and men improve their sex lives, confidence and relationships for over 5 years and uses a diverse range of tools to help individuals and couples better understand their bodies, relationships and sex lives. With qualifications in proven ancient and modern techniques such as Tantra, Somatic Sexology and Gestalt Psychotherapy, Isiah loves to see her clients leave her sessions feeling more passionate, confident, alive, happy (and maybe a little more horny!).
For starters, Isiah is such a beautiful name I have never heard before – does it have a meaning/origination?
Isiah (pronounced ah-sigh-ah) means God-made in Hebrew.
Sum up your mission in one sentence.
To inspire love and passion in the world through great sex and better relationships.
What is your key to a healthy sex life?
If I could only give 1 tip on this, it would be communication. Communication is the foundation of all good relationships, including sexual ones.
How does improving your sex life improve your whole life?
Improving our sex life makes us happier, healthier and more confident. Sex has so many proven health benefits it improves our immune systems, helps us live longer and gives us more energy. It also causes us to release loads of hormones and endorphins that help us feel happier!
What is Tantra and how it can it be used in conjunction with your sexual energy to create a more passionate, loving relationship with your partner?
Tantra is a philosophy, an art and a science. It remains my personal spiritual practice and something I practice daily whether I’m in relationship or not. In Tantra, we use our sexual energy to open our heart and expand our consciousness – one of the side benefits of doing this is better sex and a profound sense of connection to your partner. Practicing Tantra helps you connect to your partner with your heart. You don’t have to have sex to practice Tantra. In fact, I teach people in my therapy room Tantra with all their clothes on. I’ve seen many couples in tears after I’ve shared a Tantra practice with them – they’ve felt closer than they had in years.
What is an underlying issue that most couples or individuals come to you with and how do you help them?
The most common complaint that people come to see me for is one partner wanting more sex than the other. Sometimes one partner doesn’t want sex at all. This often causes a lot of tension and arguments in the relationship.
There are a few ways I work through that with clients. It is common for one partner to have a higher sex drive than another – although I can work with people to boost their libido, we often don’t get their desires on the same level. Often I work with couples to help them discover what needs are underlying a needs for sex as well as giving them strategies to manage the desires discrepancy – this often involves improving communication around sex so it’s no longer the elephant in the room.
Personally, what do you value in a partner?
Open, honest communication is a must for me. That requires a certain amount of courage and self-awareness.
How do you define confidence?
I think confidence is knowing just how awesome you are. And knowing that you’re perfect, even with all your imperfections!
How is it possible to reach multiple orgasms? (for men and women)
Practice! It’s easier for women than men (lucky us!) but still takes some persistence. Tantra can definitely help this process along for women and its a MUST for men wanting multiple orgasm. Tantra is a really beautiful philosophy and practice. There are different forms of Tantra and many different practices involved. It’s really like a kind of yoga or meditation. It can be learned alone or with a partner. Clients are always clothed in my sessions.
On the flip-side, why do you think 30% of women struggle to orgasm?
Women get some really strange messages about sex when we’re growing up. I think a big part of it is that we’re not really taught that it’s ok to love sex and really enjoy ourselves. We also live in a culture that is chronically disconnected from our bodies. We’re not encouraged to touch ourselves and learn what we like. Many women I work with who have orgasm challenges have never masturbated before.
To me, Passionate Spirit means…
Living life with Passion, Spirit and Love! When we love with passion, we live with passion.
The one thing I love about my job the most is…
Seeing people’s whole lives change through the work I do. It’s incredibly rewarding.
What’s next for Isiah and Passionate Spirit?
We’re excited to be launching more of our ebooks right now. And coming out soon is our new online course “Passionate Couples”. It’s going to make it really convenient and affordable for couples to regain their connection and spice up their sex lives. The techniques shared in the books and courses I have been using for the past 6 years and I’ve seen them have great benefits.
Isiah McKimmie is the founder of Passionate Spirit Coaching, based in Cairns. For more information about Isiah and her inspirational work, or to make an appointment with her, visit her website at http://passionatespirit.com.au/