I recently learnt the term “medibation“, which is a blend of meditation and masturbation (AKA self pleasure).
My coach/somatic healer recently prescribed me medibation for my homework as a way of re-connecting with myself. And sure enough, I went home…and didn’t do it.
I made all kinds of excuses – not enough time, I need to be alone in the house, I don’t feel like it, not in the mood, can’t be bothered, and funnily enough, sexual shame came into play too.
Ahh that’s interesting, I thought I had dealt with you! But apparently not…
My sexual shame looked a little bit like this:
- Not wanting to have sex or self pleasure.
- Feeling embarrassed about it.
- Prioritising other stuff.
- If I was engaged in sex, it was more for an orgasm than the journey – the “genital sneeze” type of orgasm.
- Not freely expressing myself or my desires
- Avoiding my yoni at all costs
- I stopped using my yoni egg and massaging my breasts
- Overall feeling un-sexy
If you’re a single gal, self pleasure is an essential tool to channel sexual energy in your body and get your needs met without sleeping around (guilty! no slut shaming here).
However as a woman in a relationship for the past 2 years, my self pleasure practice took a back seat, which depleted my self-love tank and impacted my sexual relationship with my partner too. We gotta give to ourselves, chickies, before we can give to anyone else!
So I wanted to share with you how you can experience medibation in a nurturing, conscious, self-loving way with yourself to remove any shame or guilt you have around your sexuality.
You can begin by doing some gentle yoga or simply sitting in a comfortable position and meditating for 5 – 10 minutes. When you feel ready follow the below 5 key things to making your medibation a beautiful, beautiful experience:
1. Make a nest
Create a safe, honouring space for you to surrender (and it might not be your bedroom).
Gather pillows, towels, cushions, blankets, mirrors, music, heaters, candles, oil, water, feathers, lingerie or incense. Anything to make you feel like a f*cking Goddess!
If you need no-one to be home, then honour that by requesting your partner or housemates to leave for an hour. Boundaries 101.
2. Remove the goal
Most women I coach have a self pleasure practice of rubbing their clit until they come. This is fine for a quick fix, but it’s not a deeply transformational experience (not in the slightest!).
See if you can self pleasure for the sake of tuning into the sensations and the enjoyment of the journey – rather than the destination. Do it to LOVE yourself, not to orgasm.
If you orgasm, that’s great – but just delay it as much as you can! By not coming, you will charge yourself up like a battery and feel energised and juiced up for the WHOLE day!
3. Internally stimulate
If you do typically just rub your clitoris to reach an orgasm – that’s OK! I am not shaming the clit – besides, we have it for one sole reason – pleasure! However what I am inviting you to do is explore the inner realms of your vagina. There is just as much pleasure internally as externally, it just needs to be activated.
I suggest either using your own fingers or a pleasure wand. I have been using my black obsidian G-spot wand (slightly curved to stimulate the g-spot), depending on what kind of experience and pleasure I want to experience. For sexual shame I suggest black obsidian as it helps to energetically remove sexual shame, guilt, trauma and negativity.
4. Try this erotic breath work & mantra
For the duration of your medibation, breathe in and out of your mouth. This keeps you focused on your breath, your body and the waves of ecstacy. It even accentuates the pleasure!
You can slightly pucker your mouth and draw the breath in slowly like sucking liquid through a straw. When you exhale, let out some sound – moan, groan, sigh…. This breath work takes you to entire new levels of ecstasy and present-ness.
Whilst you’re breathing, repeat positive mantras and affirmations throughout your practice, to supercharge the experience. “I love you”. “You’re beautiful”. “I’m here for you”. Explore any feelings that rise up in response to the mantras, don’t shame them – just feel them and breathe through them. All different thoughts and feelings can arise during sexual play – let them float in and out without attaching onto the thought or fantasy.
5. Make it a spiritual practice
Medibation is a unique spiritual practice. Why? Because it’s designed to help you grow spiritually – not just sexually.
For my last few medibation immersions, I have set my intention on releasing sexual shame. So rather than fantasying about Ryan Gosling banging my brains out (can’t say I have done that haha), I hold a special intention and come back to it from time to time.
Tears might be released. Anger. Frustration. It’s all natural and normal and it makes the experience even more powerful! Tears can feel like an orgasm! Spread the love throughout the whole body – breasts, legs, belly – all of it!
Be your own sexual healer and use medibation as your medicine. Draw the sexual energy up from the yoni and into the heart, then transmute it into love – the most divine alchemy! If you have a headache, cramps or pain (emotional or physical), use the practice to heal you. Remember illness can’t co-exist in a body full of pleasure…
So there you have it.
Remember it doesn’t have to look like anything you see in the media, movies or in porn. It’s completely unique to YOU. You might be completely silent, or you might cry the whole time. You might orgasm, you might not. It’s all welcomed.
I would love to hear from you – how do you release sexual shame?
How do you medibate?
What works for you?
What do you need to have in place to fully surrender?
Love Rosie x
P.S. Before you go, check out the new and improved Yoni Massage course we are an affiliate for!
Feature photo credit: Carl Warner