Masturbation is an opportunity to get to know your desires and pleasure points without the pressure of having to please someone else, or worry about how you sound or look. It is a beautiful chance to be in complete control of your satisfaction and fully explore your body without any restrictions.
It might surprise you, but masturbation even offers benefits! All the more reason to get down and explore your own beautiful body.
Possible benefits of masturbation include:
- Deeply connecting with yourself and your primal desires
- Release tension
- Boost concentration
- Help alleviate pain
- Enhance sleep quality
- Relieve menstrual cramps
- Reduce stress
- Elevated mood
- Improved sex life (sex with a partner can be even better when you find out exactly what you like)
Before we get into the simple tips for mind-blowing self-pleasure, the most important thing I want you to understand is that wherever you are at is perfectly normal.
If you have never masturbated before or are still figuring out exactly how to please yourself, you are not alone! I have met so many women that are still working on enjoying self-pleasure on their own terms. It is perfectly normal to need a little help getting acquainted with yourself.
So whether you have never masturbated before, are still learning, or just want to have fun learning some new tips, I am honoured to help you explore.
1. Set the Mood
You may hear ‘self-pleasure’ and automatically think it’s all about touching yourself or using a vibrator. Not quite — that part comes later. Self-seduction actually starts in the mind.
Some simple pampering can really help get you in the mood and make the experience all the more enjoyable. Try setting the mood with things like:
- Candles or dimmed lighting
- Diffusing some essential oils
- Soft music or a fan as white noise – Check out my SENSUAL FRUIT EATING playlist on Spotify
- Porn (if you enjoy it). If you want a change from mainstream porn, check out Erica Lust for her alternative feminist porn showing real passion, intimacy and connection.
- Anything else that helps put you at ease or turn you on
Once your mental state is aroused and engaged, it is time to give your body some love.
An excellent way to start is with a full-body, slow, self-massage. Even if you already know one or two spots that really send you over the top, now is the chance to discover new sensations.
Pay special attention to your:
- Your perineum (the area between your vaginal and anal opening)
- Your neck
- The small of your back
- Your thighs (especially the inner thighs near your groin)
- Your scalp
- Lower abdomen
2. Add Some Variety
Variety is the spice of life… and also of your self-pleasure life! Try switching up your position in ways you have never tried or thought of before:
- Lying on your back
- On all fours
- Bent over a bed or table
- In the tub or shower
- In a comfortable chair
- On your bed, the sofa, wherever you feel comfortable and at ease
Along with making self-pleasure more fun and exciting, switching up your self-pleasure can also boost your sex life. If you masturbate using the same technique every time, you may have more trouble reaching orgasm when you are with a partner.
So stay open-minded and play around with different positions, different locations, and different techniques.
3. Get Flexy to Feel Sexy
The more deeply you stretch your hips, the more blood flow runs to your pelvis, which is a great natural boost for your libido. Taking a yoga class is a great way to get in touch with yourself and get warmed up for a sexy session with yourself.
Try coming home after a yoga class and getting down with yourself as soon as you can. It’s a great way to get in tune with your body, get out of your head, and ready for pleasure. My favourite yoga classes are my Yoga with Adriene as well as Boho Beautiful. They have some amazing FREE yoga classes on YouTube!
4. Get Rid of Goals
Along with eliminating all judgment of yourself, it is also important to go into this without a goal. I have seen many women, as ironic as it is, end up closing off their orgasm potential by making an orgasm their only focus.
If you do not reach the end goal you had in mind, it is only natural for frustration and disappointment to ensue. Talk about a ruined experience!
Allow your experience to be solely guided by pleasure and love. Experiencing yourself without judgment is enjoyable in itself! The more connected you become to your body, the healthier and happier you will be.
Give yourself plenty of uninterrupted time to fully explore your body, experience different sensations and love yourself. Take away the pressure of reaching orgasm.
If it happens, wonderful! It not, remember that you are still connecting with yourself and learning new ways to feel pleasure and self-love. You are gathering valuable information on how to take care of your body and reach new heights of self-pleasure.
5. Do Not Rush
It is so important not to rush yourself. This is a sacred experience to soak in and enjoy. Worrying about finishing up quickly takes your mind elsewhere and disrupts pleasure.
Be completely present in the moment and fully invest in exploring yourself. Like so many things in life, when you grant yourself as much time as needed and take away that ‘rushed’ feeling, the outcome will be far more fulfilling.
6. Use the Power of Breath
Use sounds, breath, and movement to enhance your connection with your body. These methods help boost pleasure by eliminating stuck energy in the body and helping to keep your mind focused.
Whatever feels good, do it and enjoy it. Do not worry about sounding silly. Be true to yourself and try different pitches and rhythms and varying breath patterns.
7. Enlist Some Help
If you have a partner, it can be fun to get them involved. Teach him or her exactly what turns you on, what kind of touches and motions you enjoy, and what feels good. This can open up healthy communication, bring you closer, and amp up your sex life all in one!
8. Embrace Your Unique Needs
No two people are alike and it is the same in the bedroom. Every individual likes different touches, pressures, techniques, moves, and settings when it comes to self pleasure.
While one person may prefer toys, perhaps you prefer your fingers. Maybe you like rubbing, pinching, tickling, or circular motions. Maybe you like side-to-side strokes instead of up and down.
Try not to limit yourself to one way of doing things just because someone else has raved about what works for them. You are your own unique, beautiful being and this is your sacred time to explore without judgment or expectations.
9. Use a Tool If You Want
Solo sex, of course, can be wonderful just by using your own body. However, toys can really amp up your self-pleasure.
A vibrator can be a particularly powerful tool for taking your self-pleasure to new heights since they use rotary motors that create delicious buzzing sensations both externally and internally.
I also offer a wide variety of pleasure wands and dildos designed to match any specific desires or needs. Our best selling Sacred Squirter is a fan favourite. Its curved design and non-porous glass construction make it virtually free of imperfections and ideal with internal play. It can even be heated or cooled for a truly magical experience.
10. Lube Is Your Friend
Whether you like to use your hands or a toy, I highly recommend adding a toxin-free lube or oil to your self-play.
Although it is common for people to assume lube is only for postmenopausal women or anal play, do not let that thinking fool you. Even if you have zero trouble self-lubricating, a high-quality lube will enable you to maintain that frictionless glide to keep you from feeling overworked afterward.
Both water and oil-based lubes work well depending on your preference. Water-based lube is mess-free and compatible with any material but does evaporate eventually and need to be reapplied during lengthy sessions.
Oil-based lubes can be used in water and have more staying power, but they may not be compatible with condoms or toys.
After much trial and error, I found the best lubricant in both oil-based and water-based options. Both options are:
- pH balanced
- Gynecologist recommended
- Free of synthetic chemicals
- Beneficial to the skin and delicate mucosa
- Free of irritants
Reach Out Anytime
If you would like to learn more sex tips, my blog covers a wide variety of topics from how to choose your yoni egg to how to boost your libido. It is my pleasure to help change lives by teaching women how to truly connect with their sexual power and accept their bodies.
I also encourage you to join my private facebook group (Yoni Pleasure Palace). This sacred space is designed for women to ask any and all questions related to hormones, pelvic floor health, kink, self-pleasure… you name it. Nothing is off-limits in this safe, private space.