Imagine if sex was painful or even felt impossible. For some women, this can happen due to a condition known as vaginismus.
The good news is that vaginismus is a treatable condition. Here, we’ll take a look at what vaginismus is, what causes it, and tips for naturally healing vaginismus.
What Is Vaginismus?
Vaginismus is a condition referring to the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles. This tightening can result in painful penetration or prevent it entirely.
When Does Vaginismus Occur?
Vaginismus can result from a variety of activities, with some of the most common including:
- When attempting to insert a tampon or menstrual cup
- When a woman is touched near the vaginal area
- As a woman’s partner attempts penetration
Although vaginismus does not interfere with sexual arousal, it can prevent penetration. It often leads to fear of penetration and a decrease in sexual desire.
Is it the Same as Dyspareunia?
Dyspareunia is often confused with vaginismus, but the two are different. Dyspareunia refers to painful sexual intercourse. It is often a result of pelvic inflammatory disease, vaginal atrophy, or cysts.
What Causes Vaginismus?
Vaginismus has been linked to:
- Past sexual trauma or abuse
- Past painful intercourse
- Emotional factors
- Gynecologic surgery
- Menopause (decreased estrogen levels can result in a lack of elasticity and lubrication, leading to painful or stressful intercourse)
In some cases, there may not be an obvious reason for vaginismus.
What Are the Types of Vaginismus
There are two types of vaginismus:
- Primary Vaginismus – Primary vaginismus refers to a woman that has never been able to be penetrated due to the vaginal muscle’s involuntary contractions.
- Secondary Vaginismus – Secondary vaginismus refers to instances where penetration was able to be achieved in the past but is no longer possible.
7 Tips for Naturally Healing Vaginismus
Here are 7 tips to help you start healing your vaginismus — primary or secondary — naturally.
1. Deep Belly Breathing
As opposed to chest breathing, breathing deeply and consciously with your belly can help relax your lower abdominal muscles (these connect to the pelvic floor) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
Here’s how to do deep belly breathing:
- Lie on your back with your hands on your belly
- Inhale and let your belly rise up like a balloon
- Exhale and let your belly drop toward your spine
- Do this for a total of ten times and repeat three times per day
Also, throughout the day, try to catch yourself holding your breath or sucking in your tummy. If you notice this happening, relax your abdominal muscles, let your belly go, and take a deep breath.
2. Butterfly Stretch
A lot of tension can be held in our inner thighs and end up extending to our pelvic floor. Stretching, relaxing, and opening the groin muscles can help naturally soften and relax the pelvic floor.
Try this Yin Yoga stretch when you are sitting on the floor or watching TV:
- Splay your knees out wide and touch the soles of your feet together (your heels will be about one foot in front of your groin or a bit further depending on how flexible you are)
- Gently fold over your feet, feeling a comfortable stretch
- Hold for 3 to 5 minutes once a day
- While holding this pose, practice deep belly breathing and keep your yoni muscles relaxed
3. Physiotherapy and Dilators
If your vaginismus is chronic, a pelvic floor physiotherapist may be worth looking into. A physiotherapist will (after consent) insert their fingers inside your yoni and gently massage the muscles. Similar to how a massage can help ease aching shoulders or a stiff neck, your vagina may simply need some therapeutic massage to help release tension.
A good physiotherapist will also teach you how to correctly activate and strengthen your pelvic floor muscles through proper kegel exercises. They may also suggest plastic dilators to help stretch and relax the muscles.
4. Crystal Wand Healing and Dilating
If you already own one of our crystal pleasure wands, you can use these exactly as you would use a dilator from a physiotherapist. However, you can also set a sacred ‘intention’ to receive crystal healing from within.
Here’s a quick breakdown of how to do crystal wand healing:
- Lay down in your bed after a warm shower or bath
- Make sure you will not be interrupted and be sure the atmosphere is peaceful and quiet
- Run your wand under warm water (make sure it is not too hot)
- Add some organic coconut oil or your favorite lubricant if you wish to add a little intimacy to your routine
- Use the tapered end of the want to gently massage your yoni’s entrance (a common area where women hold tension)
- Simply resting the wand here and breathing deeply can be incredibly relaxing (and even emotional)
If this is your first time dilating, this may be as far as you are comfortable going and that is completely okay. Enjoy the experience fully, trust your yoni, and be proud of the progress you are making.
As you feel ready (whether this is during your first session or after several sessions), you may continue working with the wand by:
- Letting the wand slide in little by little, never rushing, until it is comfortably inside you
- Rest with the wand inside you for a total of 10 to 15 minutes per session at least three times per week
- Always remember to pay attention to your breathing throughout the process (this is a great time to practice your deep belly breathing)
Plan on committing to 15 minutes a day with your wand for at least 1 to 3 months.
5. Yoni Massage and Mapping
If you are looking for a softer complement to physiotherapy that is less muscle focused, you might enjoy Yoni Mapping. This practice seeks to find the underlying causes of vaginismus.
A yoni massage is a three-hour experience consisting of a full body massage (including the breasts and the yoni, only if you are ready).
This can be a life-changing experience for many women. With no need to ‘give back’ or ‘perform’, the practice allows a woman to fully relax as she receives the massage in a safe space that is non-sexual.
A yoni mapping practitioner gently maps the inner walls of your vagina while pressing thoughtfully and carefully on different spots to release tension.
Sound, movement, and breath are encouraged to help release stuck energy that often results from past negative experiences or trauma. For this reason, the massage can be quite emotional.
To find a local yoni therapist near you, try checking out www.yonimappingtherapy.com or search my Yoni Pleasure Palace Facebook group for recommendations (this is a popular question, so if you search the group you should find a variety of resources).
6. Practice Self De-Armouring
Vaginal de-armouring is a sacred practice involving consciously applied pressure on your vulva and inside your vagina.
By consciously placing gentle pressure on points of tension and breathing deeply and with intention, pressure and tension can melt away.
7. Womb Healing Meditation and Yoni Steaming
If you do not feel ready for any form of penetration, hands-off energetic healing is a great place to start. Our 20-minute Womb Healing Meditation — especially when paired with yoni steaming — can help relax internal tension and bring awareness to any trauma or memories you have been holding onto.
A Reminder: Be Patient and Gentle With Yourself
The most important point I want to share with you is that you are not broken. It is crucial to treat yourself with understanding, acceptance, and respect as you take the time to heal.
Remind yourself that healing is 100% possible and your yoni will open when she is ready. In the meantime, remember that you do not need to stop enjoying sexual activity. It is possible to still feel pleasure and orgasms through activities such as massage, masturbation, and oral sex that do not involve penetration.
Healing Vaginismus is absolutely possible and I commend you for taking the time to understand the steps to healing.
With patience, self-love, and commitment to the practices mentioned above, you can help heal your yoni and develop a deeper understanding of the mysteries, beauty, and power of the feminine body. Your healing journey awaits you and I’m here to cheer you on every step of the way!