Christmas is about coming together, re-uniting with relatives, connecting to your familial lineage, bonding together over a meal, being generous with each other and celebrating the year that was.
But Christmas is also whatever you make it!
[And if you’ve done coaching with me, you will know how I am all about re-framing situations and unpacking & re-wiring the meaning that we add to things/people/events.]
The way I see Christmas is this:
It’s about giving and receiving LOVE.
And what better way of giving and receiving love with your partner than through pure, unadulterated, uninhibited SEX!
We pay so much attention to our stomach, our taste buds and buying superficial materialistic stuff over Christmas that we forget how important quality time, acts of service, physical affection and words of affirmation can be to our beloved (not just gifts…and c’mon who do you know that has ‘gifts’ as their #1 love language – do the 5 love languages test here).
Those other 4 love languages can all be experienced in a juicy sex romp in the bedroom…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m just like the next girl and LOVE presents, it’s just not my #1 way of receiving love. On the other hand, tell me I am beautiful and make quality time for me and I am yours forever…
By scheduling in and putting aside time to connect to your partner sexually this Christmas period, you’re ticking off:
1. Quality time together: What better way to spend quality time together this Christmas holidays than locking the door, spending 1:1 undistracted time together, looking into each other’s eyes (try 5 mins of ‘soul gazing’ looking into each other’s left eye, known as the window to the soul), canoodling & connecting in between the sheets.
So before jumping out of bed to check your phone, making your coffee or doing a work-out, why don’t you pause…roll over…cuddle your beloved and create some quality time before starting the day. ‘Drop in’ with each other, take 10 deep breaths together and tell each other what you’re grateful for. Maybe even do a guided meditation together for 20 mins together.
2. Physical affection: When we connect physically with our partner, we release love hormones like oxytocin which intensify orgasms, play a role in relationship bonding and release feel good chemicals that bring you closer together. Physical affection comes in all different shapes and sizes. For some it might be a neck massage, stroking, licking, tying each other up, whipping, using sex toys (we tried this one last night!), making love, open-mouth kissing, cuddling, spooning etc.
A lot of men will say their #1 love language is ‘sex’, meaning they won’t feel loved or appreciated if they are not getting enough sex (ring any bells?). When a man feels like he is satisfying his woman in the bedroom he feel unstoppable, strong, powerful, masculine and desired, which will create even more polarity and magnetism in the relationship. Queens, you want your man to feel like a King! Try showing your love through sexual and non-sexual intimacy.
3. Words of affirmation: Pillow talk is the best kind of talk and can open you up to all kinds of conversations & deeper levels of communication, which naturally open the Heart Chakra. Find ways to praise your partner this Christmas. Does he make the best Bloody Mary? Tell him! Does she make the best trifle pudding? Tell her! Is he amazing with the kids? Tell him! Does she organise things really well? Tell her! Find ways to express your appreciation and gratitude to each other.
On another note, normalise sex so the kids know that mummy and daddy have ‘special time together’ and that it’s OK to make some pleasurable sounds (I never once heard my parents having sex growing up so it was a complete mystery!). During sex, give yourself permission to authentically express yourself. Explain to him/her what feels good. Tell your partner what you really want. Moan loader. Groan deeper. Compliment your partner on their body, their smell, their touch. And remember, the bedroom is your safe place for sleep and sex (and that’s it!). Me and my man have a rule that there is no business chat in the bedroom, including no lap tops or phones (these are the biggest sex killers).
4. Act of service: By far the most generous, selfless act of service you can give to your partner this Christmas is ORAL SEX! When was the last time you created time to go down on your partner…and really enjoy it? If you truly love your partner, giving your partner pleasure will naturally give you pleasure too!
Ask any man (or woman for that matter) what the best gift could be this Christmas and I guarantee you a head job would be right at the top of the list! Going down on your partner and asking them what they like is the most devoted, selfless, loving, connective ritual to really SHOW your partner you love them. Oral sex is simply showing your partner you love them by kissing their genitals with love, adoration and desire. Isn’t that beautiful!?
And better still, there is actually a really cool nerve in the body called the Vagus Nerve that goes from the brain, through the back of the throat (glottis) to the cervix, which brings on a lot more lubrication and arousal for a woman. Try it for yourself! It’s a great foreplay tool and wont need as much coconut oil.
Intimacy is the glue in a relationship, so remember if you’re not creating time to make love, nothing is going to change or get better. It’s the foundation of a relationship (otherwise you would just be friends, right!?)
Sex is sacred.
Sex is healing.
Sex is your birthright.
So make time for it this Christmas!
Love Rosie x
P.S: If you’re wanting to spice it up and dive deeper, contact me to book in a 1:1 Relationship Coaching session. I love this work and I love inspiring women and men to become more connected to their sexuality, sensuality and eroticism – either solo or with their partner.