Winter-time was a long, tough slog in the Rosie HQ, and not only because it was so bloody cold in Perth. There were a handful of things happening in my life, which I needed time to process (hence why I took a lengthy break from the blog).
In May we were informed that we had to leave our beachside shack due to the owners wanting to demolish and build a mansion in its place.
Boo! I was absolutely gutted.
This broke my heart, as I was deeply connected with both the physical home and the forest of enchanting trees in the back yard. The trees were hundreds of years old and the house had vortexes in every corner with spirit guides guarding its doorways (we never locked the doors). Many powerful healing sessions and workshops had taken place inside its walls and the house had a way of transmuting your energy from sh*t into gold dust. I had never been attached to a house so much in my life and it was painful to leave somewhere that Ares, myself and my housemate, Tantric practitioner Jason had created such a welcoming, buzzy, nurturing nest.
I loved wandering barefoot from the beach back to the shack and not caring how much sand I brought in with me.
I loved that that nakedness was accepted, honoured and welcomed.
I loved that sexual expression of sound, movement and voice was celebrated, not shamed.
Leaving the beach shack taught me a lesson in divine detachment to earthly, material possessions (whether it’s a hair straightener or a house).
I also recently drove past the shack to notice that not only had they demolished the entire house, but also the hundreds of trees, plants and bushes in the back yard.
My heart broke for humanity. For mother nature. For the animals who had made their homes there. And for what we do with the planet. The street felt dead, and a little part of me died – but also my inner activist rose up! I wept as if it was a death. I’d never cried over something so devastating that wasn’t the death of a human or animal.
So, when we arrived in our new house – a grand 8 bedroom castle-esque abode in the ‘burbs – Ares and I couldn’t stop fighting.
Literally every day there would be another argument, another fight, another point of contention. We were at each other’s throats day in, day out and it was awful.
I was in full self sabotage mode and everything was triggering me.
I’ve never witnessed my shadow (ego) so in full force before. In hindsight, I feel my ego wasn’t allowing me to believe that I was worth all this – an amazing partner, an incredible life doing what I love etc. My ego wanted me to believe that it wasn’t real and it’s all too good to be true (so let’s f*ck it up!).
I think I was scared with how in love I was… and that meant being vulnerable and taking a risk.
Trusting the masculine.
I was also projecting a lot of my anger out on him from a) the upheaval from my sanctuary b) teething problems in the new house c) my family going-ons (see below).
This behaviour affected our sexual relating, our health, my work, his work and the dynamic in the house. I have never heard so many door slams in my life, and I hated bringing that energy into our new home where we live in a conscious community with other like-minded people (lucky they all understood and were all going through their own ‘stuff’). I had also never lived with so many people before, so this constantly triggered me and my “stuff”.
I was also going through some heart-wrenching family issues (AKA “Daddy issues”) which were really rocking my Root Chakra and my relationship with Unconditional Love and what that looks like to me. The pain of letting go of my attachment to, and my need of approval from my Father & Stepmum was, and still is, a realm of processing for me. I guess not all Dads are overly understanding (or impressed, rather) when their daughter begins taking an interest in Sexology and Tantra, teaching naked yoga classes and dating a man 15 years her senior.
I get it. It can’t easy for the guy. I just miss him so damn much and wish he was here on the ride with me.
Oh and all the while, I was in full manifestation mode birthing my Nude Yoga creation and was on radio every other day, live television and busy writing up interviews for publications and blogs.
It was a crazy time.
Being a coach, yoga teacher and writer, often we’re in a state of giving, giving, giving.
Giving is a masculine quality. It’s penetrative. It’s exerting. It takes effort and energy.
Receiving is a feminine quality. It’s requires opening, relaxing, softening, allowing and being receptive to what is. We must OPEN to let anything in.
With all the stuff going on in my life, predominantly in my relationships, career and home life, I felt my Base Chakras as well as my Throat Chakra were being cracked wide open to GROW.
And it was really, really uncomfortable.
Moving house, living in a conscious community, having daddy issues, struggling though some relationship issues, and coming out to the world to say ‘Hi I’m Rosie and I teach Nude Yoga’ whilst planning a national tour was pretty full on.
With all of this going on in my life, I began to wake up and have a few breakthroughs of my own.
Here’s WHY I took a break:
- I needed more BALANCE in my life. I was ‘working’ WAY too much and not switching off (and it’s so so easy to do this when you work for yourself – it becomes your whole world).
- I needed to stop fighting with my partner, and take a look at what I was fighting within me.
- I needed my own yoga practice at home.
- I needed more quality time with myself; a time and place where I filled up my own cup rather than relying on others to make me happy.
- I needed to be my own coach.
- I needed to cut away some old dangly energetic chords that were no longer serving me.
- I needed long walks on the beach, by myself, and not for exercise sake.
- I needed to re-learn how to give myself pleasure – in whatever form that appeared.
- I needed to use my Yoni Eggs more often.
- I needed time away from anyone else to reclaim parts of me that I had abandoned, or lost.
Something needed to change.
And I only have control over me (no one else). So I did!
And here’s how I did it…
- I stopped squeezing too many clients in a day and rather spaced them out as I felt called to.
- I took myself for long walks along the beach and coached myself by stepping into my higher self (seriously, all the answers are within).
- I took time in nature as often as possible.
- I removed the word ‘busy’ from my vocab.
- I learnt a new self pleasure practice! (watch this space)
- I threw out all my old clothes and gave them to an Op shop for other people to enjoy.
- I began to use my Obsidian Yoni Egg to clear out the crap (and yep, our sex life shifted completely).
- I bought myself a new yoga mat and began practicing ever damn day (naked). And I also began a more Hatha ‘yang’ practice which felt great in my body.
- I stopped doing what I thought I should do and did more of what I felt drawn and called to do. I replaced should with could.
- I cut some chords with people in my life who were not serving me at the present time.
- I f*cking claimed what I am doing and took my Nude Yoga workshops on a national tour!
- I quit coffee, which was actually depleting my energy rather than giving me more.
- I let go of something I had been doing for a year that was not aligned with my purpose anymore and was not fitting into the world I was creating, even though it meant losing money and connections.
- I hired a Virtual Assistant (Love you Emma Shields!) to help me be more accountable and organised with my weekly blogs.
- I began writing again (hence this article and my weekly blogs coming your way).
- I’m planting trees in our yard to GIVE BACK to our land!
I invite you to drop in deeper with yourself and ask yourself this powerful question:
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
Then go and do that.
Love Rosie x
P.S. If you’re a Perth Goddess, come along to my Nude Yoga workshops on Sunday nights at 6pm – 8pm. All details + tickets here