As young girls we are often told by our parents to not touch our “private parts” and that it’s naughty or dirty. This coupled with poor school sex education and a church system telling us that sex outside of marriage is sinful, has had an extremely detrimental effect on a woman’s connection to her genitals, her ability to orgasm and her overall sexual expression as an adult.
The reality is touching our vulvas is not dirty or naughty and sex is not sinful. In fact, the opposite! Re-wiring our relationship to our vagina is key if we want to have epic orgasms and feel sensual, embodied, radiant and in love with ourselves.
Here are 6 powerful ways we can re-build our relationship to our Yoni and thus have better orgasms:
1. Sexual Energy is Life Force Energy
The Taoists considered sexuality to be “the foundation of health, creativity and spirituality”. They knew that sexual energy is life-force energy—the energy that creates new life. So a great question to ask yourself is if you’re not creating babies, what are you creating? In fact the Taoist tradition believed the health of a woman’s uterus reflects in the health and youthfulness of the skin on her face. Thus, the more orgasmic and connected we are to our Yoni, the more vibrant, youthful and radiant we appear in our face. Win, win!
2. Utilitze The Jade Egg
Over 5000 years ago in Ancient China, the Queen & her concubines used the Jade Egg to cultivate their sexuality, enhance their health and pleasure the king in the bed-chambers. They used the egg-shaped weight to keep a healthy reproductive system, a strong pelvic floor and to transmute their sexual energy into spiritual energy. Fast forward to today, women are now using a crystal yoni egg as a means of reconnecting to their body, reclaiming their sexual power and re-sensitising an often numb vagina. Women also discover that using the egg regularly (3 times a week for 30 minutes a day) is helping them have deeper, internal orgasms and feel more sensation during penetration. So although the egg is not a ‘sexual’ practice, it often intensifies sexual experiences. We always suggest our GIA certified Nephrite Jade eggs (medium sized, drilled with string) as a starting point.
3. Practice Yoni Gazing
So many women have never taken the time to even look at their vagina. If this is you, find yourself a small hand-held mirror and sit in front of it for 5 – 10 minutes and simply gaze at your Yoni. For the first 5 minutes, simply notice what thoughts, beliefs, words or opinions come up. And for the second 5 minutes, compliment your Yoni as if you’re a lover beholding her beauty. Write down a list of words that describe her such as “silky lips with soft pink hues”, “velvety folds”, “a blossoming flower” or “juicy”. Simply witness your vulva with curiosity and intrigue and get to know her intimately – just like any other body part.
4. Activate Your Breasts
In tantric tradition our breasts are considered our ‘positive pole’ and our yoni our ‘receptive pole’. In order to open and access the power and pleasure of our yoni, it’s essential to activate the breasts first and foremost. You can do this by massaging your breasts every day when you get out of the shower.
Simply take five minutes to look at yourself in the mirror and sensually, lovingly massage first your left breast, and then your right breast and lastly both at the same time. We suggest this divine breast massage elixir. The more connected you are to your breasts, the more juicy your Yoni will become and more plugged into your emotions you will feel.
5. Receive Consent from your Yoni
A powerful way to reclaim your sexual energy is by communicating and listening to your yoni. Two ways of doing this is 1) cupping your hands over your vulva and asking her what she needs and wants in any given moment and 2) before inserting anything inside the vagina, make sure you receive full consent.
Make sure your Yoni wants to receive your egg, wand, dildo, penis or fingers. A beautiful way of reclaiming your Yoni, especially if you’ve suffered with trauma, may be asking your partner to ask for consent before entering you. This can be an incredibly empowering experience. Allowing yourself to say ‘no’ is where your power lies.
6. Slow it down with Crystal Pleasure
Many women are reliant on using a vibrator to reach a clitoral orgasm, which feels great but it’s also a short, sharp, “genital sneeze” style of orgasm — a fraction of what we are capable of experiencing orgasmically. When we slow things down and venture inside the vagina, we awaken deeper vaginal orgasms which feel like full-bodied energy orgasms resulting in convulses and ecstatic tremmering, particulalry when the Cervix or G-spot are targeted.
One way of slowing down your self pleasure is by using a crystal pleasure wand, warming it up under some warm water and lathering it in your favourite lubricant (we suggest our fave brand YES but coconut oil is also great!). With consent from your Yoni, gently and slowly glide the wand inch by inch inside the vagina, letting your yoni stretch to receive the girth from the crystal. One way to slow it down is by breathing deeply into the belly and expressing sound and emotion on the exhale. It may not be the experience you’re used to but it’s definitely worthwhile re-wiring your vagina to a different kind of pleasure.
I hope this article has shed light on ways you can become more connected to your Yoni and more orgasmic!
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Love Rosie xo
Feature image by @Project_Wallflower